I think that every parent has happened to calm their child down at least once by ensuring that there is nothing to be afraid of. I also caught myself a few times and it was only after time and deeper analysis that I noticed that I had done something that was not necessarily received as I assumed. After all, my intentions were good – I wanted to make my own child aware that it is safe, that I am close and that I will not let it get hurt. Anyway, it wasn’t even a matter of fear worth it, but… Well, the key here is “in my opinion”. After all, every person can be afraid of a completely different thing and we all have the right to do so, although one reason for the fear of others may seem completely irrational. Some people are afraid of spiders (including me), for others it is incomprehensible, perhaps even funny. Someone else would never take a rodent, for me mice are very cool creatures and I have no problem to touch them, move them, play. And since we adults are afraid, children also have a right to fear, even when their reasons for fear are incomprehensible to us, and their reactions are inadequate to the situation and “scale of the threat”. A flagship example? Monsters under the bed – we, the parents, know that they are not there, but this awareness does not diminish the fear of the child, who believes that they are lurking there. Not taking into account the strong fear of children will not calm them down at all, but it can build in them a feeling that they are alone with their fears, that nobody understands them and accepts them as they are. And this is what this book is about.

“The Opposite of Worry: The Playful Parenting Approach to Childhood Anxieties and Fears” is a book that every parent should probably read – yes, I’ll risk that statement. And it’s not because there’s some secret knowledge in there that will suddenly make us perfect parents. This reading will simply make us reflect on our own reactions to the fear of children, because they can be really different. While reading this book, one wonders, somehow from a vending machine, if he does not underestimate this topic, if he does not mock – even unconsciously – children’s fears, if he shows proper support. Well, understanding, acceptance and empathy are for me the key issues in this subject.

Good, but even if we accept childish reasons for fear and do not think at all and – above all – tell the child that there is nothing to be afraid of, how can we get down to this support in such a way that it is effective and respects the feelings of the young person? I like the way you ask the question: look into my eyes, do you see fear in them? This simple question can help because the child will feel safe, that if there is no fear in the eyes of a loved one, it means that the “alarm” can be cancelled. Of course… if that fear is not really there.

For me, one more thing was very important during my reading – transferring our fears to children. I realize that I have a problem with it and I try to fight it, so far with different results. Sounds dangerous, right? What kind of mother are you when you pass your fears on to the child? – until you want to say. Meanwhile, it all looks very inconspicuous every day. “Be careful.” “Be careful.” – Sound familiar? Sure, there is nothing wrong with these words at first glance, but if we abuse them, we unconsciously – and probably quite unintentionally – build up a child’s conviction that the world is dangerous and must be watched over at every turn. And that’s not our goal, rather to keep children safe and secure, but without depriving them of the pleasure of cheerful and carefree play and exploration of the world. This book shows that all this can be combined.

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